November Rainy Day Thoughts

 The rain has stopped for now, and the sun is breaking through, but it's still wet, drops are still dripping from the roof.

I'm sitting in my office, my house is quiet. It's Sunday. Just past noon. My husband is asleep, he works nights, the two kids still living at home are in their rooms doing their respective things. I hear Youtube coming from somewhere. My dog, the ancient mini-dachshund, is scratching in his office bed. The other dog is with one of the kids. The cat is stalking something. She just came inside from her morning yard rounds, late because of the rain. Sans lizard or snake or cricket or grasshopper to play catch and release with in the house. She loves catch and release in the house. Those have all gone where ever they go this time of year. It's not cold, not yet, at least. So, I don't know where they are. But she can't find them. The squirrels have taken an offensive position of late, instead of their usual defensive, and live to torment both the cat and the big dog. And those asshole woodpeckers have gone into hibernation. Hopefully for forever. 

Cold is coming, tonight, if it dips this far south. Sometimes the northern part of the state is hit with snow while we, down here on the gulf coast barely notice a change. The leaves are definitely in autumn mode. We have some color. The drainage pond across from my house is a picture of loveliness, if you view it from a single step in my garage, that frames just the pond and the woods behind and the street light in the foreground. No neighboring houses, no electrical boxes. The cluttered garage the only blemish on an otherwise perfect picture. 

Today is nice. It's the calm after the storm, before the early cold comes. My house is a mess. I'm tired of caring. The youngest has three weeks of classes left then however many finals during finals week, then they're done for the semester. Next semester may not be funded. Their financial aid is already bare minimum, but it's enough for full time, now. But that's a worry for later. There are more pressing worries. But I'm avoiding those today too.

I'm not a coffee drinker, but I have my cold Dr Pepper and I'm sitting, alone, in my office. With all of my things around me, it's mostly quiet, except for the dog and the distant drone of Youtube. And I wish it could stay this way. But the cold is coming. And things must be done, and I no longer have the energy or the want to deal with any of it.

But I must, eventually, because if not me, then who?